It's cold out. I don't want to go out in the cold. I hate the cold, the trees are all bare, except for evergreens and pine trees, but they are covered in white snow, and the wind is bitter. It nips through me. It seems so gloomy outside, or maybe, it is just me. I hate winter.

The longer nights and shorter days give me no motivation to work. I am sick, cold, and most of all, LONELY. Yeah, this is going to be a great Holiday Season.

This is my first Christmas alone, without a big family surrounding me. This year it's going to be me and Oneesan. Maybe Andrew, if he shows up. He has his own family to be with - I do not expect him to be here. This is going to be the loneliest Christmas ever.

I miss the big Christmases in the Philippines. Where we load our car with presents, dress up and talk to cousins and aunts and tell stories. At 12 everyone distributes presents and start eating Noche Buena, then games start dancing -- oh the noise and the kids running around. The good food, the calandracas my Lola makes, hot chocolate, Suman, puto bumbong, and the Roast beef! Oh! That's Christmas.

I miss most especially hugging my parents and telling them I love them this season. I miss the surprised look of my brother and sister when they open their presents. I miss the funny gifts my friends give me. I miss Christmas Parties, gimmicks and Christmas shopping with my sister. We always had so much fun then.

I miss caroling. I miss Simbang Gabi.I miss walking around Christmas bazaars. I miss the decorations Mom puts up and the laughter over the meals. I miss getting random Christmas calls from friends. I miss it. Badly.

At least, last year, I had Al's family... This year...

God save me from the sadness. I wish that somehow, I could celebrate Christmas at home again...

No, of course not! I am not dead. I was just blogging in LJ. A lot of people Blog there. Of course I have not forgotten Xanga. But, I just adore my new LJ layout and stuff. I was thinking of working this one too, but I am ze lazy. Anyway, life? What life? Do I have a life?

I have FFXI. My Detonation Linkshell is doing very well. I am now a Lv 65 Bard and 72 Warrior. Not bad, huh? And I actually lead this time, I am not a Linkshell Model or Linkshell Mommy. (well, I still am the LS mommy-- kinda-- but I am now still LS Princess)

My birthday? I really wasn't expecting anything from Al this year. I was content that he spent the whole day next to me and that he and I were cuddly.I was giddy with my geeky nostromo N52 gift. Then he pulled one out of nowhere. I was caught unaware. So, we were sitting in the living room playing FFXI and talking. Then Rissa came home, she gave me her present and then went to her room. She called albert. I thought she just needed help with somethng.Then he comes out with a bag -- for me!!! It was a pretty Breathe Bath set. I love that scent. And so, I was shocked, giddy and I was very happy. It really didnt matter what it was. He got me something. That was what was important. It made my day. It is still making my day. GOD I LOVE HIM!

hmm.. Anyway, I have sleep to catch up on!

Happy Turkey Day!

It was generally a good day. I was up at 11 after sleeping at 8 due to game circumstances. The holidays are officially here.I love christmas season. Perhaps that is my favorite season, all the snow, all the gifts the friends... FOOD! Hehe. Anyway, this Christmas hopefully will be more hopeful and I know the next will  be different because I will actually have money to spend on gifts and stuff. It really sucks being broke especially during the holidays. Hopefully, things will take a turn around this year.

I have a lot to thank for this year. First of all, finally my case is almost done. THANK GOD. I can finally work and help out here. Second, friends and family, finally a year to appreciate what they have done for me this year. This year was not easy, Al and I had some kind of little falling out but its all good now ( happens to everyone right?) Friends were all there for me. Thank you Brianna, Crizl and Amy you pulled through for me this year. ^_^ oh my gosh third, Thank you for a good year for hobbies and fun. I really had fun this year.

Theres a lot I want to say but I really could not find the words right now. But, it is a THANKSGIVING DAY!